Tangled Web

Deceptions of a transgender guy

Mouth sewn shut


That of which we do not speak

Trigger warning: self harm.

Back story: For a large part of my life, a companion has been appearing in my mind, guiding me through stressful times. I could describe him, for it is unmistakably a male figure, as an angel, as he has wings of a kind. But an angel, he made clear, he definitely is not.  Continue reading




I love illusions. From the David Copperfield extravagant stage kind, to simple optical illusions in pictures. Maybe because I want to cling to my child-self wonder of the real existence of magic. Continue reading

City skyline at night


Looking for America

“I don’t know how to be a girl. And I sure don’t know how to be a boy. And after thirty-seven years of trying to be male and over eight years of trying to be female, I’ve come to the conclusion that neither is really worth all the trouble. And it made me think. A lot of people think it is worth the trouble. And that made me think. Why? Why do people think it’s worth all that trouble to be a man? Why do people think it’s worth all that trouble to be a woman? … I want to say tell me! Tell me what it’s like!” ~ Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein (1994 edition).

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Lady Midnight


Lady Midnight

“I came by myself to a very crowded place;
I was looking for someone who had lines in her face.
I found her there but she was past all concern;
I asked her to hold me, I said, “Lady, unfold me,”
but she scorned me and she told me
I was dead and I could never return.”
~ Leonard Cohen

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My broken picture window

…occasionally I wished I could walk through a picture window and have the sharp, broken shards slash me to ribbons, so I would finally look like I felt.”  ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

Trigger warning: Self-harm – an intensely personal point of view. Not for the emotionally vulnerable.
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Cloak of Invisibility


Bohemian Rhapsody in a Cloak of Invisibility

Like many children, I too sometimes daydreamed of a cloak of invisibility and while wearing this cloak, I would pretend to save the damsel in distress from a monster or villain or both. Little did I know that I would be wearing such a cloak throughout the rest of my life.
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