I am a huge fan of the Belgian singer/songwriter, Dana Winner – not only for her voice – she is easy on the eyes as well (beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I know, but I could get lost in those blue orbs…) I have been listening to one of her CD’s on my way to work and one of the songs has been on repeat in my mind for days now. It has a catchy tune and the orchestral performance is magical. The lyrics are repetitive and well, iffy. Maybe because of that, some words stuck with me.
The refrain from Guardian Angel speaks of loss:
I feel I’m fallin’ apart
cause I know I’ve lost my guardian angel
and things will never be the same.
While not exactly falling apart, I have been feeling adrift for a long while now, hence my blogging silence. My writing muse has either fallen asleep or left me, but possibly she is just watching – waiting to see how I deal with all the changes enfolding in and around my life. Unlike in the past, I am unable to work through the changes by writing, but forcing myself to confront reality, I have started chiseling this post.
While looking for the full lyrics of Guardian Angel, hoping to find them more meaningful, I discovered that the original version of the song is in German, Jenseits von Eden (East of Eden). These lyrics are far more poetic (I wrangled my high school German from rusty memory).
Wenn selbst ein Kind nicht mehr lacht wie ein Kind
dann sind wir jenseits von Eden
Wenn jede Hoffnung nur ein Horizont ist
Den man niemals erreicht
Dann haben wir umsonst gelebt
When even a child no more laughs like a child,
then we find ourselves East of Eden.
When all our expectations are only horizons
which nobody can reach,
we have lived in vain.
Eden has been a theme in my poetry since childhood – not the idyllic “in the presence of God” garden, but from an outcast point of view – the naked, shivering mortals being barred at the east of the garden by winged angels with fiery swords.
I have been recreating my own Eden a number of times throughout my life, each time emotionally expelling myself from that fleeting place of peace. The angel has stuck with me as a companion, though – feathers featuring as a leitmotiv in my life, literally and figuratively.
I once risked my life in traffic to save a number of goslings from a certain death, resulting in the most incredible feeling of fulfillment. I have also created and maintained an emotional feathered nest for a lost fledgling human being.
Now that I am facing life-altering changes – “things will never be the same” – which are keeping me adrift with shifting horizons and uncertain expectations, I guess this song is telling me that like in the past, there is peace in the future. East of Eden. Beyond Eden.
The Dutch version of the song Guardian Angel, is titled, Ver weg van Eden. (Far from Eden). This is one of the verses:
ik wil samen met jou in dit leven staan
met jou samen
bruggen tussen mensen slaan
en de dag dat ik zelf heen moet gaan
dan weet ik: ja, ik heb mijn deel gedaan
It translates to:
I want to build bridges between people with you in this life, and the day I pass on, I will know I have not lived in vain.
Because I have loved and I am being loved. Damn, I am a sentimental fool! 🙂
Note: Full lyrics for Jenseits von Eden