Tangled Web

Deceptions of a transgender guy

Jack fell down and broke his crown


They say you fall off a lot on a red wine diet. Off a chair, off a hill, off the stairs…

I had not even imbibed one drop of the fruit of the vine when I fell off my office chair last week.

I have one of those swivel office chairs with wheels, moving around on a hard plastic carpet protector and I had leant sideways to pick up something when the wheels decided they wanted to go AWOL. Loud crash. Minor earthquake (about 2 on the Richter scale). HUGE bruised ego.

Luckily I was alone, but one of my staff members rushed to see what caused the Big Bang. I felt extremely dense and hot with embarrassment, so maybe I’m the creator of a a small new universe. It could also signify the end of the known universe, who knows?

I have a few bruises and new aches and pains, I’m not 26 any more. Nor 46. But I definitely will not claim Injured-on-Duty. I can just imagine filling in a form:

Cause of injury: Falling off an office chair.

With at the bottom of the form:


Comments by Health And Safety OfficerWhile there is no indication that the staff member was intoxicated at the time, it is recommended that the staff member be investigated for drinking on the job.

No ways. Uh-uh.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen…

Do you have any embarrassing falls to share? Maybe I’ll feel better after reading about them!

Remi and Kelly

David slaying Goliath..


Author: Kris

Hi! I'm Kris. I live in South Africa with my life partner of 27+ years, whom I call B or Madam in my posts. We have a Pug dog child, Remi, also known as Pooch, who has graced and enriched our lives for the past 12 years.

18 thoughts on “Jack fell down and broke his crown

  1. Not really a fall, and neither very embarrassing, but totally weird.
    I was 14. Walking back to school after two hours of PE. I jumped off a mound of sand, not higher than my waist. Nothing strange about that, I did it all the time. This time, however, my left foot landed on a brick that lay hidden under the sand. My ankle gave in and I was down on the ground. My friends asked if I was alright, and I said, “sure, just sprained my ankle a little. You walk on. I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”
    I rubbed my ankle for a bit, got up and ran to catch up with my friends.
    A couple of days later, I found out my ankle was actually broken. 😀


  2. In my younger day I was a dyke on a bike, the motorised kind. The first day I bought it, I rode around like a trooper, pulled into a friends driveway, stopped, and fell over!

    Right up there at the top of the butch embarrassment scale.


  3. I once landed in a sewer lagoon , in a car, and had to swim to the shore, and yes it was a really shitty situation


  4. I don’t usually fall without a good reason, i.e. slipping on ice in the winter. My specialty seems to be walking into things, especially walls and door frames. Cheers!


  5. I have a standing desk at work, one that I can adjust for sitting or standing. I was standing and working and apparently thought I was sitting and leaned way over to get something out of a drawer and fell over. Just fell over while standing up. Thank goodness no one saw me.


  6. I squatted down to quiet Gracie when she was barking at a noise in the hallway and I tore the meniscus ligament in my knee. It was so painful I blacked out. Fortunately, she was the only witness.

    All employees on my job had to take a Dupont© Safety Class where we were shown all the “slips, trips, and falls” possible, including everyone’s favorite of getting a tie stuck in a copying machine. But I don’t remember anyone tipping over their chair…


    • Are you grinning at me, Jamie? 😀 At least I can laugh at myself! Your blackout at least have a cause… It sounds very painful, I hope your knee doesn’t trouble you? I don’t wear a tie, something to be thankful for, I suppose!


      • I was thinking of some near misses on ladders and with knives while cooking (the ones I dropped on my foot), but yes, I was trying to picture the chair stretch gone awry.

        I’m pretty careful, but I don’t have great balance and I don’t practice balance moves when I work out because they don’t feel “butch” enough – I don’t want to feel like a ballerina at the gym.