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Crisco Cookbook 1912

Culinary delights

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My partner and darling spouse is not very well-versed in the culinary department. In fact, she is nowhere near the culinary department. If she by chance should want to boil an egg, she has to refer to the recipe book. I kid you not. It’s page 42.

So most of the time, we eat out. Out of tins, out of “Meal-in-a-minute” containers, out of “Shove-in-the-oven-for-20-minutes” freezer packages.

TV dinner

How stereotype can you get?

And once in a while, we really eat out at a restaurant or coffee shop. Okay, not really once in a while. More like once a week. No, we are not slim. Think Little Lotta.

Little Lotta

How can I cram in some more?

If I feel like something besides a boiled egg or instant packaged meal, I have to make it myself. And it is my own damn fault. My ex never learnt to cook at home, as her mother was a control freak and nobody could cook better than she could. So, to survive, I had to learn to cook when I moved in with her (not the mother!). When we broke up after three years of living together, she had conveniently still not learnt to cook.

B grew up in foster care – a hostel setup where meals were prepared in a central kitchen, so when she moved in with me, I continued to do the cooking. Again, survival. She is a master strategist when it comes to reasons why she could not or cannot have prepared a meal and I fall for it. Every time. Even after 25 years. What a fool I am.

If my soul should reincarnate, I want a chef as partner. But then, with my luck, she will probably be so fed up with concocting haute cuisine or nouvelle cuisine or whatever cuisine meals in her world renowned restaurant that she does not want to cook for me when she gets home.

Such is life.

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Author: Kris

Hi! I'm Kris. I live in South Africa with my life partner of 27+ years, whom I call B or Madam in my posts. We have a Pug dog child, Remi, also known as Pooch, who has graced and enriched our lives for the past 12 years.

11 thoughts on “Culinary delights

  1. Pingback: To Paleo or not to Paleo | Tangled Web

  2. Oh my… Don’t get me started on cooking! My wife CAN cook, but wouldn’t do it unless her life depended on it, and maybe not then either. I went through surgery this spring (my wrist) and my wife promised she would do the cooking while I was still in a plaster, since she didn’t do it last year when I had surgery in my other wrist. That episode ended with a visit to the emergency room when I spilled fluid underneath the plaster.
    Her cooking for me this time ended with two take-out pizzas, Chinese takeaway and macaroni with heated meatballs. I think we had sandwiches one day as well, and the I had to start cooking in order to eat something else (since I spent a few days in hospital, she had already eaten pizza and meatballs for a few days). Every time I’m too tired to cook and make her fix dinner, it ends with pizza and meatballs from the store. I’ve tried to make her help with the cooking as well, but there always seem to be something more “important” to do, and suddenly she’s gone. I often find her sitting in the couch or I bed…

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    • LOL! I sincerely hope you are very fond of pizza and meatballs, Ess! I love pizza, but it can get too much if eaten too often. Maybe you should get some menus for her from take-away places that make other kinds of food? 🙂 Glad you have an English blog now, Google translates pretty weird things! Take care
      Kris

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  3. Mrs Widds grew up with four sisters and learned to cook out of necessity, I taught myself (from books and experimentation) from about age 14, again out of necessity. So we take turns or whoever is inspired to create something goes ahead and does it. However, Mrs Widds is a baker par excellence. I don’t think I’ve eaten store-bought bread for as long as we’ve been together.

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  4. Donna can cook but prefers that I cook. She is slow and a bit sloppy, and doesn’t clean as she goes (think a sink full of bowls, knives, and cutting boards and little pieces of cilantro all over the kitchen).
    When we first moved in together she was working evenings (therapist in private practice) so it made sense for me to cook. When she retired, she went to art school and took afternoon classes and still managed to come home after me (so that I still cooked).
    In the winter I’ll cook a batch of soup or stew and we will get a few dinners out of it. In the summer I’ll make composed salads, pasta, or grilled fish for dinner. I’m a bit of a control freak so it is OK (I always get to eat what I want and it is always cooked to my liking).
    She claims that she will cook for me when I get top surgery, but my guess is that we will end up eating take out.

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    • Oh, I know about the kitchen looking like a hurricane went through it – I clean up as I go. I suppose I should cook for a few days and freeze, but the fridge has a small freezer compartment and the house is too small for a freezer on its own. Your meals sound healthy and delicious. So, is top surgery definitely on the cards now?

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      • Donna said December, so I set December 8 as the surgery date (he does top surgery on Mondays in the hospital) – I tried for Dec 1, but it is too close to our Thanksgiving holiday and I cook for it. So far she is only mildly freaked out. I still need to do some paperwork and get a mammogram, but I’m pretty sure Donna is going to tolerate it. Fingers crossed.

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