Tangled Web

Deceptions of a transgender guy

La reproduction interdite by René Magritte, 1937

Three weeks post top surgery: Reflections


Some reflection on my experiences:

    • I am more aware of the physical loss on a spiritual level than any other level and will be embarking on a healing journey.


      Milestone km 1000 on the SS 16 road by Xelloss, under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 Generic license.

    • Emotionally I am elated and recognize a huge milestone reached on my life’s journey, for which I am immensely thankful.
    • Being more active, as I am back at work and driving again, has me experience more pain than during the first two weeks. It is a pins-and-needles kind of pain, accompanied by extreme sensitivity as new skin develops and tissue heals.
    • My night in hospital was a sleepless one, as I am an insomniac and forgot to tell my surgeon. When I asked for something to help me sleep, the nurses refused, as it was not authorized and it was too late then to phone the surgeon. Hell, he deserved a good night’s sleep after removing them udders more than I did! 🙂

      I is bored

      I felt like this

    • I was bored out of my skull from when I came to after the operation, till the next morning I was discharged. I took a book to read, but my mind was a flea, jumping from thought to thought. The TV above the bed was minuscule and out of focus. I in any case did not want to use the hospital-supplied ear phones, not wanting to share ear-buds that had possibly not being sterilized (I’m funny that way!) I still do not know what I could have done to keep my mind occupied. Fortunately it was only one night.



  •  The depression after anesthesia was a surprise, but not unexpected, as I was prepared for it. Luckily it lifted after a few days.


  • I take off my baseball cap to other trans people who walked and will walk this journey alone. I could and would not have done it without my partner. Reaching high and low yourself is impossible, replacing dressing alone almost the same. And then there is the emotional support that is keeping me going. Kudos to B.


    Pooch, a.k.a. bundle of love

  • Not forgetting the pooch: with her animal instinct, she has steered clear of my chest, while piling love and support on me, demanding to nest between my legs or cuddle close to my side. This privilege is normally reserved for B, so I know I am being made to feel special.

Author: Kris

Hi! I'm Kris. I live in South Africa with my life partner of 27+ years, whom I call B or Madam in my posts. We have a Pug dog child, Remi, also known as Pooch, who has graced and enriched our lives for the past 12 years.

6 thoughts on “Three weeks post top surgery: Reflections

  1. … and then, when they think you’re healed enough, they stand right on the scar, with enough force to crack open a small moon!


  2. Kris – I wish my dog (an 80 pound german shepherd) was more sensitive to my state. We had thunder stroms while I was recovering and she would jump onto whatever part of my was available. And when I was laying down, my chest is the go too lace for comfort. Urgh!!!! I got ur email and will reply later today. Keep healing and I am so glad B is there to support you!!


    • Seems like the bigger they are, the bigger cowards they are! Pooch barks at thunder, not scared at all. She thinks she can take on dogs five times her size. Yeah, B is great support, wish all trans people could have a loving partner. Looking forward to your mail 🙂


  3. Thanks for posting the update – and glad to know you are driving and back to work. I’ve had various non-trans related surgeries (knees and fibroids/hysto) and have had a tough time (a week?) getting the anesthesia out of my system (depression, boredom, loss of interest). What works for me is a stack of junky magazines that I can flip through (food, men’s style, national geographic, cars, travel – anything other than celebrity) and my iPod.
    I’m looking forward to top surgery, and reading peoples experiences (including the loss which most people don’t write about) is very helpful.


    • Thanks, Jamie. Seems like the healing process takes longer for some than others – some are working out and lifting quite heavy stuff soon. With me, my age and inactive lifestyle might be counting against me. On the other hand, age helps on the emotional and intellectual levels. A younger me might have had more issues to work around. Your partner’s support is of the essence, so let’s hope Donna comes around to your way of thinking soon.
      Take care