Some reflection on my experiences:
- I am more aware of the physical loss on a spiritual level than any other level and will be embarking on a healing journey.
- Emotionally I am elated and recognize a huge milestone reached on my life’s journey, for which I am immensely thankful.
- Being more active, as I am back at work and driving again, has me experience more pain than during the first two weeks. It is a pins-and-needles kind of pain, accompanied by extreme sensitivity as new skin develops and tissue heals.
- My night in hospital was a sleepless one, as I am an insomniac and forgot to tell my surgeon. When I asked for something to help me sleep, the nurses refused, as it was not authorized and it was too late then to phone the surgeon. Hell, he deserved a good night’s sleep after removing them udders more than I did! 🙂
- I was bored out of my skull from when I came to after the operation, till the next morning I was discharged. I took a book to read, but my mind was a flea, jumping from thought to thought. The TV above the bed was minuscule and out of focus. I in any case did not want to use the hospital-supplied ear phones, not wanting to share ear-buds that had possibly not being sterilized (I’m funny that way!) I still do not know what I could have done to keep my mind occupied. Fortunately it was only one night.
- The depression after anesthesia was a surprise, but not unexpected, as I was prepared for it. Luckily it lifted after a few days.
- I take off my baseball cap to other trans people who walked and will walk this journey alone. I could and would not have done it without my partner. Reaching high and low yourself is impossible, replacing dressing alone almost the same. And then there is the emotional support that is keeping me going. Kudos to B.
- Not forgetting the pooch: with her animal instinct, she has steered clear of my chest, while piling love and support on me, demanding to nest between my legs or cuddle close to my side. This privilege is normally reserved for B, so I know I am being made to feel special.