Tangled Web

Deceptions of a transgender guy

Tristam and Isolde

Is Chivalry dead?


Yesterday a male student held open a door for me. I nearly had a coronary from shock, as usually students will shoulder you out of the way and trample over your body, should they manage to make you stumble.

I thanked him, “Nice to find a gentleman nowadays.” (Thinking, “Excluding me!”)

He laughed and said, “I try. I have this vision of my mom’s invisible hand coming out of the blue to smack me if I don’t!”

That got me thinking about chivalry. I was born chivalrous. (And I fully know cultures differ, my musings relate to my culture only.)

Nobody ever told me a male stands back for a female and let her enter a door first, or carry parcels for her, but I’ve been doing this forever. An ex girlfriend would have died of shame had I done this in public, so I suppressed my innate gentleman, but it felt, uhm … very un-me (it’s my blog, so I am allowed to create words!). At work, some staff stand back for me, as I am senior in rank and years, and I let it go. B, my spouse/partner/significant other, is used to me letting her enter a door before me, even at home. She lets me carry her parcels when she goes shopping (heaven forbids she let me carry her handbag (purse, in Americanese), this is when I die of embarrassment! She knows this and sometimes let me hold her handbag just to get a kick out of it 🙂 ) Being a gentleman feels right and good. It appeals to my inner knight. And a lady deserves my gallantry.

So, call me old-fashioned, weird, strange, whatever you want, but call me chivalrous.


Accolade by Edmund Blair Leighton


Author: Kris

Hi! I'm Kris. I live in South Africa with my life partner of 27+ years, whom I call B or Madam in my posts. We have a Pug dog child, Remi, also known as Pooch, who has graced and enriched our lives for the past 12 years.

4 thoughts on “Is Chivalry dead?

  1. I have an inner knight, too, that rides on a white horse. I think it’s a butch thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Like I commented to theeegreatdane, us from the dying breed should get together as the Knights of the Round Table! Hope there are many more butches who save damsels in distress! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I always hold doors open for people and let them. It wasn’t something my parents taught me, but b something I saw as being polite and, at times, chivalrous. You’re of a dying breed.